Journey to Next Year

I tend to make a lot of spontaneous decisions in the month of February. February is when I secretly applied to Randolph-Macon six years ago, not telling friends or family because I knew I wouldn’t end up there anyways (ha). February is when I submitted my Teach For America application four years later, after only having discovered the program a month before. And this February, I submitted yet another life-changing application when I emailed my resume to 2 new open positions.

Sometime in early February, right around the time of a discouraging staff meeting that involved condescending comments from our superintendent, I hit a point where I literally said aloud, “I don’t know if I can do this another year.” It came out of nowhere. I remember speaking those words to a colleague, and subsequently hiding the feeling of shock as I heard myself say it. She casually shrugged it off as part of our daily venting routine, and I didn’t say anything else. It had caught me off guard. If you had asked me even a month earlier, fresh off of winter break, I would have said that I would be back for my third year, just like I had planned since joining TFA. I had even signed my letter of intent to return. But over the next few days after that staff meeting, I felt this itch to start considering other options. My roommate as in the process of looking at charter schools in Chicago, and I thought, “Why not?” I didn’t know much about charter schools, but what I did know sounded infinitely more appealing than another year in this county. A county where there is no support or respect for teachers. A county with issues that are constantly swept under the rug, all in the name of politics.

After an especially brutal day at school, I was scrolling through my email when I came across a job posting for a charter school in Nashville. I had seen the posting several times before, and had thought about how cool it would be to 1) work at a charter school and 2) live in Nashville, but the disappointment of that particular day motivated me to actually investigate the situation. Currently in its first year with only a 5th grade class, the school is 100% TFA or TFA alum and is looking for a team of founding 6th grade teachers. That same night, I started updating my resume and filling out the application.

The more I researched and worked on the application, the more I could taste freedom. I began to imagine life outside of this tiny town and a school where I saw no progress and no enthusiasm. I poured my heart and soul into that application, desperately wanting to join a team of like-minded teachers in an environment where learning was truly valued. Three weeks later, I submitted my resume and application, and just a day later, received an email asking me to set up a phone interview with the school leader. I was so unprepared, and felt like the interview went horribly. But before I hung up the phone, the school leader asked me to come out to Nashville to visit the school and teach a sample lesson, all expenses paid. Terrified and ecstatic, I agreed.

After finishing my application to the Nashville school, I realized that I truly wanted out of this town. And what if the Nashville job didn’t work out? Here I was, getting my hopes set on freedom, and it wasn’t a sure thing. I knew I needed to start looking elsewhere, in case the first job didn’t work out. My next turn: a 2-year old charter school in Henderson, North Carolina. I had visited Henderson before; in fact, it had been the source of inspiration for my classroom this year. I saw children who were from families and communities just like my students, but instead of being unruly, ungrateful, and unmotivated, they were respectful, hardworking, and eager. Every hand was in the air to answer a question. Every mouth was closed while the teacher was teaching. Every bottom was in a seat, every nose in a book….at lunch. I left feeling excited for a chance to bring that same level of discipline and engagement to my classroom. And I did, and it lasted for about twenty seconds. Okay, maybe a couple of weeks. Maybe even a few months. But my kids lost their steam, and I lost my will to enforce it, especially knowing that no other classrooms were enforcing the same things. Anyways, an email from the school inspired me to submit my application, and I received a phone call shortly after, asking to set up an observation and a visit to the school to teach a sample lesson. Jackpot.

I’ll leave you there for now, since it’s already been an epic entry.