* Written on Tuesday, April 10th but technical difficulties prevented me from posting earlier.
Two great offers. Two great schools. Yet the decision wasn’t difficult.
I think I made it more difficult than it needed to be. I was waiting for the same kind of peace God gave me when I was making my decision senior year about whether to join Teach For America or go abroad. I assumed I’d hear that same quiet voice, whispering either “Henderson” or “Nashville” with a gentle confidence. But God had a different MO this time. Instead of one moment of clarity, He blessed me with a string of reassuring experiences that ultimately gave me confidence in my final decision. I couldn’t see them all right away, but as I weighed my options, it became clear the direction in which He was leading me.
So, I’ll finish teaching in my current Eastern North Carolina school on June 14th, and pack my bags shortly after to move to……..drum roll please….
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE!
I went into my interview with Henderson on Friday praying that I wouldn’t like it, that I wouldn’t get offered the job, or that there would be some glaring reason to turn down the job if it was offered to me. None of those things happened. I liked the school, I was offered the job, and there really wasn’t a giant red flag in the way. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would always wonder, “What if?” if I didn’t take the Nashville job. I already know what it’s like to live in rural North Carolina—boring, lonely, and sometimes even soul-crushing. It’s time for something different, something exciting, and as my roommate said, something life-changing.
I officially accepted the offer yesterday, after over a week of waiting. And this time, not waiting on God. Waiting on the school leader to come back from Spring Break. Immediately after leaving my interview with Henderson last Friday, I was about 85% sure I wanted to take the Nashville job. I spent the next few days “sleeping on it”, and each day I only found myself more excited about the opportunity. By Monday, Dad had booked us plane tickets to start apartment hunting in May, and I was anxiously awaiting the weekend so I could talk to the principal and officially accept the job. The week felt epically long, as I was also waiting for the beginning of our spring break. But finally, I was able to catch up with the principal, ask a few more questions, and express my interest in joining the team.
This week just keeps getting better—I’m currently sitting in a hotel room in Raleigh, watching the Celtics, eating Famous Amos cookies and packing for my trip to CHICAGO to see my sister tomorrow. I should be lesson planning so I’ll be ahead of the game when I get back, but I’m enjoying this whole break thing way too much to care right now. I have a feeling that these last two months of school will be incredibly difficult, knowing what’s ahead. Good thing I love my kids.
More details on the Nashville job coming up soon. I can’t wait to talk all about how incredible this school is, and what I’m most looking forward to leaving behind.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
The Journey Continues
I spent the next two weeks furiously lesson planning for my own babies, Henderson babies, and Nashville babies, on top of trying to pull together a last-minute field trip. It was a crazy two weeks, and in the stress of it all, I began to doubt my decision. I know now it was a reaction to the stress and not a reflection of my true feelings, but at the time I was so consumed by "stuff" I had to do that I was ready to give up. There was one particular moment when I sat down in front of my roommate and said, "I can't do it."
My flight was booked for a Sunday-Monday visit to the school in Nashville. A "visit" also includes teaching a sample lesson, and I was terrified. Come visit me in my element, in my own classroom, and I have no fears. I love having visitors, especially since (for the most part) my kids love showing off for visitors. But throw me into a situation with so many unknowns and, well....watch me squirm. I spent my days working at school, then hours a night working on my sample lesson, stressing over how to make it perfect. Long story short, the Friday before I was supposed to leave for Nashville, my objective changed and my lesson was no longer relevant. For about 15 seconds, I was frustrated and felt defeated. And then I realized, hey, this means they'll have to cut me some slack, since they only gave me 2 days to plan a lesson! Even though I felt a little nervous about the sudden change, I couldn't shake the feeling that this would actually somehow benefit me.
I left for Nashville early Sunday morning, and one of my good friends from college and her husband picked me up at the airport. We spent the afternoon seeing the city--eating at a local restaurant, walking their new puppy around Centennial Park, and taking the grand tour of downtown. They were even sweet enough to run me to Target to get a few last minute supplies that I could not take on the plane. That evening, I met the principal, one of the math teachers, and the director of operations in East Nashville, right near the school, for dinner. I was nervous and a bit out of my element, but I enjoyed the conversation and a chance to meet some of the team members before my sample lesson the next day.
Monday morning, I took a cab over to the school and prepared for the day. From the moment I entered the school building, i was overwhelmed with excitement and awe. It's a small building, with only 4 classrooms, but it was warm and efficient. It was obvious from first glance that everything was incredibly organized. What I saw the rest of the time I was there only confirmed the awesomeness of the school.
I started the morning observing their advisory time, which is a chance for students to eat breakfast, get their stuff organized, and turn in their homework from the previous night. I was shocked by how self-sufficient the kids were, and how they monitored their own behavior with little direction from the teachers. By 8:10, I was on stage. My first run through of the lesson went horribly--I totally misjudged how long it would take me to teach the lesson, and the kids only had a few minutes to practice the skills on their own. The principal offered me some very honest and very constructive criticism, allowed me some time to reflect, and then asked me to go back in and teach it again to the next group. I felt much more confident the second time around, both with her guidance and my own reflections, and did a million times better. I got positive feedback from the principal, but it was hard to tell if I redeemed myself enough to be in the running. I spent the rest of the day observing other teachers and the procedures of the school, and by 12:00 was back in a cab on my way to the airport. I had fallen in love with the school and the kids, but I wasn't convinced that I had done enough to prove that I was up for the job.
That Friday, a colleague and I took 26 kids to NCCU and UNC Chapel Hill for a field trip. We had an absolute blast, and it was a beautiful day...a great way to round out a very busy week. The weekend came, and I was back to planning for my second sample lesson. The principal from Henderson was coming out to observe me on Tuesday, and then I was teaching out at Henderson on Friday. Another busy week ahead, another restless weekend.
Tuesday came and went quickly. I felt great about my observation - my kids were on point, as they usually are when they see a visitor they can impress, and a little bump in the schedule only gave me a chance to prove that I am flexible and can work under pressure. The principal left me a note complementing our classroom culture and my teaching personality/flexibility, and I knew I had done much better than my lesson in Nashville.
Wednesday afternoon, as I was driving home from work, I got a call from a 615 phone number. Immediately my heart jumped - Nashville! I answered the phone only to hear the principal from the charter school tell me she had spoken to my references, they confirmed what she thought about me from my interview, and she was hoping that I would join the team at their school. As soon as I hung up the phone, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had a job - in Nashville! - if I wanted it. I was not "stuck" anymore. But I still had another interview to worry about.
Friday came around, and the process at Henderson was similar. Teaching a lesson, feedback from the principal, teaching another lesson, then observing. At the end of the school day, I had what would be considered a formal interview, except that it took place at Denny's, so I would say it was a bit more informal. After the questions he asked me, I wasn't convinced that I was what he was looking for (something I've learned through this process--interviewing is NOT my strength. I spend a lot of time talking in circles and trying to spit my words out). But on our drive back to the school, I mentioned that I had another offer on the table, and the mood shifted. When we settled back into his "office", he offered me the job on the spot.
Both positions that I've been offered are for 6th grade math. I would be a founding teacher at both. The salary of one is about $10,000 more than the other. One is in rural North Carolina, the other is in the heart of Nashville. Both are most if not all TFA alum and current corps members. Both have incredible school leaders that both challenge and support their staff to be the best they can be.
That means a decision is in order.....
Stay tuned.
My flight was booked for a Sunday-Monday visit to the school in Nashville. A "visit" also includes teaching a sample lesson, and I was terrified. Come visit me in my element, in my own classroom, and I have no fears. I love having visitors, especially since (for the most part) my kids love showing off for visitors. But throw me into a situation with so many unknowns and, well....watch me squirm. I spent my days working at school, then hours a night working on my sample lesson, stressing over how to make it perfect. Long story short, the Friday before I was supposed to leave for Nashville, my objective changed and my lesson was no longer relevant. For about 15 seconds, I was frustrated and felt defeated. And then I realized, hey, this means they'll have to cut me some slack, since they only gave me 2 days to plan a lesson! Even though I felt a little nervous about the sudden change, I couldn't shake the feeling that this would actually somehow benefit me.
I left for Nashville early Sunday morning, and one of my good friends from college and her husband picked me up at the airport. We spent the afternoon seeing the city--eating at a local restaurant, walking their new puppy around Centennial Park, and taking the grand tour of downtown. They were even sweet enough to run me to Target to get a few last minute supplies that I could not take on the plane. That evening, I met the principal, one of the math teachers, and the director of operations in East Nashville, right near the school, for dinner. I was nervous and a bit out of my element, but I enjoyed the conversation and a chance to meet some of the team members before my sample lesson the next day.
Monday morning, I took a cab over to the school and prepared for the day. From the moment I entered the school building, i was overwhelmed with excitement and awe. It's a small building, with only 4 classrooms, but it was warm and efficient. It was obvious from first glance that everything was incredibly organized. What I saw the rest of the time I was there only confirmed the awesomeness of the school.
I started the morning observing their advisory time, which is a chance for students to eat breakfast, get their stuff organized, and turn in their homework from the previous night. I was shocked by how self-sufficient the kids were, and how they monitored their own behavior with little direction from the teachers. By 8:10, I was on stage. My first run through of the lesson went horribly--I totally misjudged how long it would take me to teach the lesson, and the kids only had a few minutes to practice the skills on their own. The principal offered me some very honest and very constructive criticism, allowed me some time to reflect, and then asked me to go back in and teach it again to the next group. I felt much more confident the second time around, both with her guidance and my own reflections, and did a million times better. I got positive feedback from the principal, but it was hard to tell if I redeemed myself enough to be in the running. I spent the rest of the day observing other teachers and the procedures of the school, and by 12:00 was back in a cab on my way to the airport. I had fallen in love with the school and the kids, but I wasn't convinced that I had done enough to prove that I was up for the job.
That Friday, a colleague and I took 26 kids to NCCU and UNC Chapel Hill for a field trip. We had an absolute blast, and it was a beautiful day...a great way to round out a very busy week. The weekend came, and I was back to planning for my second sample lesson. The principal from Henderson was coming out to observe me on Tuesday, and then I was teaching out at Henderson on Friday. Another busy week ahead, another restless weekend.
Tuesday came and went quickly. I felt great about my observation - my kids were on point, as they usually are when they see a visitor they can impress, and a little bump in the schedule only gave me a chance to prove that I am flexible and can work under pressure. The principal left me a note complementing our classroom culture and my teaching personality/flexibility, and I knew I had done much better than my lesson in Nashville.
Wednesday afternoon, as I was driving home from work, I got a call from a 615 phone number. Immediately my heart jumped - Nashville! I answered the phone only to hear the principal from the charter school tell me she had spoken to my references, they confirmed what she thought about me from my interview, and she was hoping that I would join the team at their school. As soon as I hung up the phone, I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had a job - in Nashville! - if I wanted it. I was not "stuck" anymore. But I still had another interview to worry about.
Friday came around, and the process at Henderson was similar. Teaching a lesson, feedback from the principal, teaching another lesson, then observing. At the end of the school day, I had what would be considered a formal interview, except that it took place at Denny's, so I would say it was a bit more informal. After the questions he asked me, I wasn't convinced that I was what he was looking for (something I've learned through this process--interviewing is NOT my strength. I spend a lot of time talking in circles and trying to spit my words out). But on our drive back to the school, I mentioned that I had another offer on the table, and the mood shifted. When we settled back into his "office", he offered me the job on the spot.
Both positions that I've been offered are for 6th grade math. I would be a founding teacher at both. The salary of one is about $10,000 more than the other. One is in rural North Carolina, the other is in the heart of Nashville. Both are most if not all TFA alum and current corps members. Both have incredible school leaders that both challenge and support their staff to be the best they can be.
That means a decision is in order.....
Stay tuned.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Journey to Next Year
I tend to make a lot of spontaneous decisions in the month of February. February is when I secretly applied to Randolph-Macon six years ago, not telling friends or family because I knew I wouldn’t end up there anyways (ha). February is when I submitted my Teach For America application four years later, after only having discovered the program a month before. And this February, I submitted yet another life-changing application when I emailed my resume to 2 new open positions.
Sometime in early February, right around the time of a discouraging staff meeting that involved condescending comments from our superintendent, I hit a point where I literally said aloud, “I don’t know if I can do this another year.” It came out of nowhere. I remember speaking those words to a colleague, and subsequently hiding the feeling of shock as I heard myself say it. She casually shrugged it off as part of our daily venting routine, and I didn’t say anything else. It had caught me off guard. If you had asked me even a month earlier, fresh off of winter break, I would have said that I would be back for my third year, just like I had planned since joining TFA. I had even signed my letter of intent to return. But over the next few days after that staff meeting, I felt this itch to start considering other options. My roommate as in the process of looking at charter schools in Chicago, and I thought, “Why not?” I didn’t know much about charter schools, but what I did know sounded infinitely more appealing than another year in this county. A county where there is no support or respect for teachers. A county with issues that are constantly swept under the rug, all in the name of politics.
After an especially brutal day at school, I was scrolling through my email when I came across a job posting for a charter school in Nashville. I had seen the posting several times before, and had thought about how cool it would be to 1) work at a charter school and 2) live in Nashville, but the disappointment of that particular day motivated me to actually investigate the situation. Currently in its first year with only a 5th grade class, the school is 100% TFA or TFA alum and is looking for a team of founding 6th grade teachers. That same night, I started updating my resume and filling out the application.
The more I researched and worked on the application, the more I could taste freedom. I began to imagine life outside of this tiny town and a school where I saw no progress and no enthusiasm. I poured my heart and soul into that application, desperately wanting to join a team of like-minded teachers in an environment where learning was truly valued. Three weeks later, I submitted my resume and application, and just a day later, received an email asking me to set up a phone interview with the school leader. I was so unprepared, and felt like the interview went horribly. But before I hung up the phone, the school leader asked me to come out to Nashville to visit the school and teach a sample lesson, all expenses paid. Terrified and ecstatic, I agreed.
After finishing my application to the Nashville school, I realized that I truly wanted out of this town. And what if the Nashville job didn’t work out? Here I was, getting my hopes set on freedom, and it wasn’t a sure thing. I knew I needed to start looking elsewhere, in case the first job didn’t work out. My next turn: a 2-year old charter school in Henderson, North Carolina. I had visited Henderson before; in fact, it had been the source of inspiration for my classroom this year. I saw children who were from families and communities just like my students, but instead of being unruly, ungrateful, and unmotivated, they were respectful, hardworking, and eager. Every hand was in the air to answer a question. Every mouth was closed while the teacher was teaching. Every bottom was in a seat, every nose in a book….at lunch. I left feeling excited for a chance to bring that same level of discipline and engagement to my classroom. And I did, and it lasted for about twenty seconds. Okay, maybe a couple of weeks. Maybe even a few months. But my kids lost their steam, and I lost my will to enforce it, especially knowing that no other classrooms were enforcing the same things. Anyways, an email from the school inspired me to submit my application, and I received a phone call shortly after, asking to set up an observation and a visit to the school to teach a sample lesson. Jackpot.
I’ll leave you there for now, since it’s already been an epic entry.
Sometime in early February, right around the time of a discouraging staff meeting that involved condescending comments from our superintendent, I hit a point where I literally said aloud, “I don’t know if I can do this another year.” It came out of nowhere. I remember speaking those words to a colleague, and subsequently hiding the feeling of shock as I heard myself say it. She casually shrugged it off as part of our daily venting routine, and I didn’t say anything else. It had caught me off guard. If you had asked me even a month earlier, fresh off of winter break, I would have said that I would be back for my third year, just like I had planned since joining TFA. I had even signed my letter of intent to return. But over the next few days after that staff meeting, I felt this itch to start considering other options. My roommate as in the process of looking at charter schools in Chicago, and I thought, “Why not?” I didn’t know much about charter schools, but what I did know sounded infinitely more appealing than another year in this county. A county where there is no support or respect for teachers. A county with issues that are constantly swept under the rug, all in the name of politics.
After an especially brutal day at school, I was scrolling through my email when I came across a job posting for a charter school in Nashville. I had seen the posting several times before, and had thought about how cool it would be to 1) work at a charter school and 2) live in Nashville, but the disappointment of that particular day motivated me to actually investigate the situation. Currently in its first year with only a 5th grade class, the school is 100% TFA or TFA alum and is looking for a team of founding 6th grade teachers. That same night, I started updating my resume and filling out the application.
The more I researched and worked on the application, the more I could taste freedom. I began to imagine life outside of this tiny town and a school where I saw no progress and no enthusiasm. I poured my heart and soul into that application, desperately wanting to join a team of like-minded teachers in an environment where learning was truly valued. Three weeks later, I submitted my resume and application, and just a day later, received an email asking me to set up a phone interview with the school leader. I was so unprepared, and felt like the interview went horribly. But before I hung up the phone, the school leader asked me to come out to Nashville to visit the school and teach a sample lesson, all expenses paid. Terrified and ecstatic, I agreed.
After finishing my application to the Nashville school, I realized that I truly wanted out of this town. And what if the Nashville job didn’t work out? Here I was, getting my hopes set on freedom, and it wasn’t a sure thing. I knew I needed to start looking elsewhere, in case the first job didn’t work out. My next turn: a 2-year old charter school in Henderson, North Carolina. I had visited Henderson before; in fact, it had been the source of inspiration for my classroom this year. I saw children who were from families and communities just like my students, but instead of being unruly, ungrateful, and unmotivated, they were respectful, hardworking, and eager. Every hand was in the air to answer a question. Every mouth was closed while the teacher was teaching. Every bottom was in a seat, every nose in a book….at lunch. I left feeling excited for a chance to bring that same level of discipline and engagement to my classroom. And I did, and it lasted for about twenty seconds. Okay, maybe a couple of weeks. Maybe even a few months. But my kids lost their steam, and I lost my will to enforce it, especially knowing that no other classrooms were enforcing the same things. Anyways, an email from the school inspired me to submit my application, and I received a phone call shortly after, asking to set up an observation and a visit to the school to teach a sample lesson. Jackpot.
I’ll leave you there for now, since it’s already been an epic entry.
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