What's Next?

As hard as it is to get up before the sun comes up, many mornings I am blessed with a beautiful sunrise along Highway 481.




I've grown to love the 25 minute commute, at least most days. It's the perfect amount of time to get my thoughts together in the morning, to run through whatever last minute tasks I need to do when I get to my classroom, and to get in a few good songs to set the mood for the day. On the way home, it's enough time to make sense of the day and think about things less immediate than running copies and preparing for a lesson. Over the past few days, I've used that time to seriously think about something I wasn't even considering a month or two ago: where I'll be next year.

If you had asked me in December, and maybe even just last month in January, I would have surely said that I"ll be right back here for the 2012 - 2013 school year. I've said a million times how much I love the women I work with, and that even though my job is incredibly difficult, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. And for right now, that is still the case. I still know that this is exactly where God intended me to be...right now. But I find myself thinking more and more about whether I can do another year of this.

By "this", I mean all of the extra crap our district and the state make us do. Submitting weekly lesson plans. Submitting plans for our lesson plans. Documentation of how we are implementing this and that in our classrooms. Testing our kids every other week. Replacing our planning periods with meeting after meeting. All the while telling us how bad we are at our jobs. And that our school is unsafe. And that nothing good is happening in our classrooms. It gets old very quickly.

There's not much more to say right now. Or maybe there's just entirely too much to say, so I'll stop before I get going. Nothing is set in stone yet, either way. I've got a lot of soul-searching to do.

Picture Post

I need to write. Badly. So many thoughts are swirling around in my head about school, the education system, and my babies. But I can't. It's too hard. I don't know where to start, how to say it without offending anyone or losing my job, or how to make my jumble of thoughts make sense. So for now, I'll just give you a picture update of my life. The words will come eventually (and soon, hopefully).

One of my best friends from high school, Jenna, came to visit a few weekends ago and we had ourselves a crafty weekend. She's here with one part of her creation, a three-frame series of shadowboxes that highlight the places she has lived and loved (I'm stealing her idea as soon as I get to Michael's again). We are trying to get permission to have Jenna come visit my classroom and help me out this Friday, which would be WONDERFUL for many reasons: to see her face, to have help in my classroom, and to finally have someone meet my beloved babies.


I made a version of this picture frame while Jen was here, and I have to say I was pretty proud of the finished product, considering I have zero patience when it comes to crafts mixed with a frustrating need for perfection. It's not nearly as sophisticated or fancy, but it is a craft, and it is mine. I finally hung it above my bed this weekend.



I've made a few additions to my classroom in the way of bulletin boards, including a tracking system for homework, "missions" (quizzes), and class points, as well as a new "Wall of Fame" board. I'm working on a "Facts & Formulas" board where I can post all of the strategies we've talked about this year, and the upcoming geometry formulas that the kids will need to memorize. I HATE bulletin boards, but mine were looking pretty raggedy, so I felt like I needed to step up my game.




And last but most certainly not least, a picture of my wonderful team at the homecoming game. I cannot say it enough, I love these ladies. From left to right: EC inclusion teacher, me, language arts teacher, social studies teacher, science teacher. My life is a million times better because I work with them.



Enough from me. The Super Bowl is on, and while I confess I am really just a bandwagon fan, it's still fun to root for the Pats. And the beautiful Tom Brady.

Polar Bears and Holes

Another quote from the student who always keeps me laughing:

"Miss H, pull up a picture of an all-white polar bear."

"Honey, all polar bears are all white."

"No, I mean the ones that eat fish and walk."

"Honey, ALL polar bears eat fish and walk."

"No, but not the ones that are black and white and brown."

"Those are pandas and brown bears. That's different than a polar bear."


Why are kids saying these things in seventh grade?
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The seventh grade team has decided to read the book "Holes" during our daily 30 minute literacy period, since we ordered a grade level set last year with all the teacher resources and never used them. I am SO excited to get to switch gears for a bit. I have always loved reading, and my kids and I are already having tons of fun.

My literacy block is with my last period of the day. They are my lowest class, and many of them do not enjoy reading because they struggle with it so much. I knew I would have to break out the bells and whistles to get them excited about the book, especially since it's going to be a lengthy unit. So I hyped it up real big. It's all about modeling, right? I acted ridiculously excited so that they would have no choice but to follow my example.

I awed them with the "brand-spankin'-new" copies of the books, holding them up Vanna White style and hyping up the fact that each of them was assigned a book that would become theirs for the unit. I called them up to receive their new book in a tone that rivaled the announcer of the Price Is Right...."Number 19...Johhhhnnnnnyyyyyy!!! COME GET YOUR BOOK!" The kids were just staring at me, not quite sure of what to make of me. I mean, I've been silly before, but this was just pure crazy. One of the kids said it felt like winning the lottery. BINGO.

When each student had their book, I made them smell the pages, then open them very slowly close to their ears to hear them "sing" to them (I, of course, was making the sound effects as we cautiously opened the books, then shut them quickly so as not to let too much of the book's soul out at once). We held the books with both hands above our heads, and on the count of three, we raised the roof and yelled, "WHAT WHAT!" And then, finally, we started reading. I have the audio version, so we listened to the first 2 chapters and followed along with the book. I could see the kids watching me for my reactions as we read, and I totally overdid it. Then, lo and behold, one of my most disruptive students shouted out, "HEY! There's a vocabulary word!" as the Male Voice was in the middle of a sentence in chapter 1. We devised a new system so that whenever they heard a vocabulary word, which we had studied leading up to the book, they would give me a thumbs up. Every single kid in the classroom was following along with the book. It was nothing short of amazing. When Chapter 2 was over and we still had 10 minutes left of class, they wanted to keep going. So we read Chapter 3.

And here is my favorite part of the literacy block. Normally, after we've finished whatever we're working on, we do this little stomp-stomp-clap-clap-"PANTHERS!" routine that the kids love. On Fridays, we switch it up to yell "FRIDAY!" And some days, when I'm feeling extra sassy, we say "YOU KNOW!". But today, one of the girls raised her hand and said, "Miss H, can we do stomp-stomp-clap-clap-HOLES!" instead?

Um, YES WE CAN.

I am so stinkin' excited for literacy period tomorrow. I made the kids color-coded bookmarks so they could tell which book was theirs, and I've created a sacred space in my cabinet to store our class set of books. I am praying that they will bother me about reading before literacy begins, and that we can harness as much excitement for the book as we did today. I felt such a sense of accomplishment and success after those kids left the classroom today, and even though it had nothing to do with math, I couldn't be happier.

If any reading teachers have advice on activities you do with book studies, how you read the books together, etc., please share! I'm new to this!

Pulse Check: A Year and a Half In

Four posts in a week? Go ahead, pick your jaw off the floor. Now let me tell you my little secret. It's called the "Post Options" button on blogspot. It allows me to write posts and schedule them to be posted later. So instead of lesson planning on my long weekend off, I pre-wrote 4 blogs. Productive? Yes. The kind of productive that pays the bills? Not quite. However, I did promise an update on my current state, a year and a half in to this crazy experience. So it goes.

Around the same time last year, I wrote a blog about the importance of keeping my balance, of taking care of myself AND working hard. I can't remember exactly what I was feeling like then, mostly because I think my brain has blacked out those memories. But I do remember sitting on the edge of my bathtub, the furthest place I could hide myself in the house without anyone hearing me, and crying my eyes out many a night in January. Whatever I was telling people, I was probably lying. Of course I wasn't okay. My kids were practically declaring mutiny in my classroom. I worked from 7 am to 11 pm, stopping only to drive home from school and the occasional meal. And still, it didn't feel like I was getting anywhere. I think that whole taking care of myself thing eventually turned into drinking a glass of wine a night while simultaneously stifling sobs and cursing at SMART Notebook software for not being able to create powerpoints via telepathy. If I remember correctly, I was a hot mess.

February and March weren't any better. The only thing that kept me sane after losing our February work day to snow was a two-day middle school conference in Greensboro that gave me a three-day work week. I was dying for something to look forward to, and two paid days "off" (a free stay at a hotel and a conferece? That's practically Christmas to me!) were my golden ticket.

I'm pretty sure February was also the month I started bribing my children with baked goods. It may have been even earlier than that. But I distinctly remember the downward spiral of my classroom management for which cupcakes and juice became a band-aid, a way to temporarily cover up the problem.

So the question...is it better now? Is second year really that much different?

The answer is....YES.

I still clock in close to 55 hours a week at school. I still work my butt off, and I still have to create new lessons because, let's be honest, I had no idea what the heck I was doing last year. And at the beginning of the year, I was still working for hours a night at home, too. But the results are so much different. Children actually listen to me. Most of them respect me, and a lot of them are learning from me. I still have discipline issues, but most of them can be solved with a conversation rather than a referral (I've only written TWO referrals for behavior so far this year. The rest have been for cutting class or tardies, which are required according to school policy. Knock on wood!). And at the end of the day, I leave feeling happy, not defeated, hurt, or discouraged.

Why are things so different this year? I think there are several reasons.

I'm definitely a better teacher than I was last year. I have a better understanding of what's important, what the kids will struggle with, how to help students who are struggling. I still have a long way to go before I am a truly effective teacher, but that's one of the best (and sometimes most frustrating) things about teaching: you can always get better.

I'm not new. The kids I have this year saw me around school last year, so they know about me. And I have much more confidence this time around. I can say things like, "I'm not going to yell, you're just going to be quiet," and they work. It's beautiful. I'm also not afraid to tell a student to "sit your tail down".

My team. I can't say it enough. The women I work with are amazing. They are so much fun, they are all good at what they do, and we work really well together. We have a small class of just over 100 7th graders, so there is only one teacher per subject, and we all teach all the kids. I think this helps us with consistency, and we all teach our own subject, so we aren't being compared to each other. The kids know we are all on the same page, too, and that we tell each other everything, so they rarely succeed at pulling anything over on us.

Taking care of myself...and I don't just mean drinking a glass of red wine. These past few weeks, I have found a new rhythm. I spend a few hours each weekend planning the whole week ahead, printing the resources, making the powerpoints, etc. During the week, I stay a little later at school making copies for the next day and getting my classroom set up. When I go home, I rarely even open my work bag. I've graded some papers here and there, but for the most part, when I'm home, I'm done. Last week especially, I realized just how much time I was spending on lesson plans, which always have to be adjusted as you go anyway. In fact, three out of five days last week I showed up at school and changed my lesson plans 30 minutes before school started, and things went perfectly fine. I use my time at home instead to actually cook real meals (bacon wrapped chicken, broccoli and cheese calzones, and garlic cheddar chicken were on the menu last week), go to the gym, read, watch Jeopardy, and just relax. I feel like a new person, and I actually look forward to school the next day. Let's hope this can continue.

God's grace and mercy. Obviously. Right before starting school back from winter break, I was sitting on my back patio in unseasonably warm weather, staring across our pond to the government housing on the other side, worrying about my babies. Worrying that I'm not enough for them. That what I'm doing won't be enough to get them to pass the EOG. That it won't be enough to get them out of their town, their economic situation. That I'm just not enough. In the stillness of that beautiful day, God lifted that burden from my heart and said to me, "Let go. You loving them is enough." And I believe it.

I can name at least 15 kids who have no hope of passing the EOG. Please don't misinterpret that as a lack of faith in my children. The educational system in their county, in this country, has failed them for so many years in a row that it would take divine intervention for them to pass a 7th grade test. But I was reminded very clearly as I sat in my backyard on that first day in January that this is all about so much more than that state test.

Definitely singing a different tune than last year. Praise the Lord for that!

Oh, and praise the Lord for teacher work days--two Mondays off in a row!

Benchmarks, Basketball, and Summer 2012

So much has happened in the past few weeks, that it's hard to even know where to begin. I mentioned in a previous post that the longer I wait to write, the harder it is to write meaningful posts that highlight the important things without writing pages and pages at a time. Alas, my attempt to hit on the significant things that have happened since winter break.

Benchmark testing revealed my weakness in teaching to my high kids. It is typically harder for those kids to show growth if they are already at or above grade level, especially when I am teaching mostly kids who are below if not signficantly below grade level. My newest goal is to find ways to challenge my higher kids without giving them extra work. I've started copying pages from an algebra textbook for my one kid who scored the highest the whole school; even before I teach him any of the curriculum he can already solve any problem I give him. So exponential functions and trignometry it is!

Basketball season is underway, and I absolutely love going to the games with my 7th grade team. I know I've said it before, but I adore the women I work with. They are so much fun--I spend 95% of the time with them laughing my butt off at the ridiculous things they say and do. We love to sit in the stands and cheer for our 7th grade students, sometimes heckling them a little bit ("GO RODNEY! SLEEPS IN CLASS!"), and talking to parents who are unable to attend conferences but have miraculously free schedules when it comes to game night. The girls are currently undefeated, and the boys have had some exciting games but a not-so-hot record. Even though I don't get home from school until after 8 pm on a game night, it's so worth it and has become one of my favorite parts of the week. It even makes me miss watching my sister's games (and not just because it was much better basketball).


On a personal level, I just booked a ticket to Milan, Italy with 5 of my best friends from high school! We are planning a 10+ day trip to Europe this summer, 7 years after our first jaunt together. Our possible itinerary includes stops in Venice and parts of Switzerland and Germany. Suggestions are welcome! A few of us may also extend the trip to include a trip to Finland (my homeland!) to visit a friend of a friend, and from there a day trip to either Stockholm or St. Petersburg. More details to come. Thanks to Britt's dedication to getting the planning started, we're on our way.

You may be wondering how I'm holding up this time of year, when the sun starts to set before dinner, where the weather makes you not want to leave the warmth of your bed, and where kids start to go crazy, coming off the high of winter break. Or maybe you haven't. Either way, that post is coming next. For now, let's just say I'm not crying myself to sleep every night like I did last January. Moving on up.

MLK Day

"Can anyone tell me about the Civil Rights Movement? What was the goal?"

"The goal of the Civil Rights Movement was....World Peace." Said matter-of-factly by a rather feminine male student, in about the same tone a beauty pageant contest would use when proclaiming her one wish. Not quite, my friend, but I like where your head is at.


In preparation for the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, our literacy activities last week all revolved around MLK, his speech, and his effect on our country. For the first time in my life, I watched his whole "I Have A Dream" speech, and wondered why I had never seen it before. I was fixated on the footage from that beautiful day in 1968, when thousands and thousands of people marched on Washington to stand behind this courageous man. And also for the first time, I realized just how brave Martin Luther King, Jr. really was. One of my intellectually advanced students made an excellent point in our discussion after watching the speech. She reminded us that King took a huge risk, knowing that what he was saying wasn't popular, and was even dangerous at the time. It sounds obvious, but when you really think about it, it's pretty incredible. Most of my kids said it themselves--they would never have survived in a time like the 1960s, when violence and injustice against African Americans were legal. And I'm scared to think of who I would have been if I had lived in those times, born and raised in a southern state whose perception of justice was disgustingly warped. Nevertheless, it spawned great discussion in my classroom for the last thirty minutes of each day.

We watched a BrainPop video about Martin Luther King and discussed some of the basics of the Civil Rights Movement. We watched the whole MLK speech and had good conversation about the meaning of his powerful words. We talked about whether we can truly say that there is equality among the races today and, surprisingly, my class seems to agree that there is (my homeroom class, the honors kids, had a very different opinion when we discussed similar issues earlier in the year. I think they are closer to the truth, and my last period babies are a little more blissfully ignorant). We read quotes from MLK and interpreted what they meant. We saw a slideshow of pictures from the Civil Rights Movement, set to the song, "I Have a Dream" by Common. And finally, we wrote out our own dreams. Each students started with the line, "I have a dream...", and finished it with his or her own hopes for the future.

Some were pretty standard: "I have a dream, that one day there will be no more world hunger." (Can you guess who wrote that one? World Peace boy.)

Some were very insightful: "I have a dream, that one day there will be less jails, and more jobs and schools." "...that families would be together."

And some were...interesting: "I have a dream, that one day people will only be on welfare for emergency, and they will not be having babies if they don't have no jobs." (Followed by a round of disapproving lip-smacks from kids wearing brand new Jordans and living in poverty. Just saying.)

I haven't quite finished mine yet. I'm not sure what my dream is. I know Teach for America would want me to say, "One day, all children will have access to quality education...", or whatever their mission statement is (should I have that memorized?). And I don't disagree. I'm just not sure if it is enough.


Sometimes, I chuckle thinking about my life right now. Teaching 30 African American students about Martin Luther King, Jr. It seems a little ironic, and sometimes I don't even feel like it's my place. What do I know about the struggles of African Americans, 60 years ago or now? Nothing.

All I know is, I love my kids...black, white, yellow, purple, striped or spotted. I love those babies. And I think that's enough for now.


And I couldn't leave without another amusing quote, from the same kid who has already provided so many laughs. He has taken to falling asleep in my class multiple times a week, which he blames on it being the end of the day. This little gem of a conversation came after I had assigned the "I Have a Dream" writing prompt last week.

"Miss H, I ain't got no dreams."

"Honey, you should have more dreams than anyone in this classroom, 'cause all you do is sleep all day!"


Point for Miss H.

Putting 7th Grade on the MAP...

It's been a while. I know. And really, there aren't any good excuses. My work-life balance is healthier than ever (more in a later post), so it's not even like I can blame that. Each day that passes that I don't write, I have more to say, which makes it harder to write. Does that make sense?

For now, I'll leave you with these two pictures. The first is of me and the social studies teacher from the 7th grade team. It's funny, we so often laugh about how different we are, and she refers to us as "night and day, literally". Yet one day last week, we showed up to work wearing almost the exact same outfit, with even the smallest touches the same (buttons along our sleeves, gray pants, and the exact same shoes). I love this woman (and the other women on my team) and have already learned so much from her this year.




The second is from our week of benchmark testing, known as Measures of Academic Progress (MAP) testing. Last year, I made a poster that said "MAPping Our Way to Success" (we all know I love a good pun) and had students who reached their personal growth goal or the seventh grade goal sign the poster. It really helped get the kids invested--they wanted to be able to sign their name with their friends--and also was a fun way to celebrate success. This year, I added another touch--kids who reached/passed their goals held signs that said "I passed my goal!" while I took their pictures, which I then taped up around the poster on my door. The kids claimed to hate it, but I still catch them looking for their faces as they walk in and out of my door.




And how did the kids do on the benchmark test? There was some significant growth in a lot of kids, there was also some backsliding, and there were some kids that showed no growth or just a point or two. Nothing tremendous right now, but we've still got a few months to go until EOG testing. And really, it's not all about the test. I have kids who came to me hating math who are excited about doing HARD math this year (algebra, anyone?). I have students who know it's okay to make mistakes, because it's part of the process of learning. Sure, I also have plenty of students who still don't care, or who aren't living up to their potential. But overall, I know there are kids who will leave my classroom this year better off.

Last year, I was so quick to see my failures. I could point out tons of kids who weren't learning anything, who didn't care, who would probably move on to the 8th grade without anymore knowledge than they began with. This year, I don't want to overlook the successes. Every student may not leave me more prepared, more respectful, more persistent, and more enthusiastic about math, but I refuse to let the successes go unnoticed. After all, you win some, you lose some.

More soon,

Miss H