Do You Notice Anything Different?

No, I didn't get a haircut.

No, I didn't lose weight.

No, I'm not trying out a new look.

But my blog is!

It happened shortly after I wrote my last entry about how the TFA experience changed and shaped me. As I was reading and re-reading the post to find grammatical errors and picture my friends' and family's reactions as they read it , I realized that the serene, puffy clouds floating in the background of my blog did not match the tone of the post, or any other post for that matter. I needed something more neutral. Something that could work for the harried posts I banged out after a particularly stressful day, the heartfelt ones that celebrated the few successes I've shared, and the weary ones that were painstakingly written after stretches of silent weeks.

So naturally I settled on the chalkboard-and-apple theme. It seems to sum it all up quite nicely, doesn't it?

After all, teaching has been my life for the past two and a half years. These two and a half years have collectively been some of the most life-changing, painful, exciting, and memorable. Very rarely have they been calm-sunny-day-with-puffy-clouds-in-the-sky, walking-down-a-winding-path-with-beautiful-scenery kind of days, as my last background seemed to imply. There have been winding roads, for sure. This entire journey has been a winding road. But it just wasn't doing my mood and my writing justice.

The next question is, "Should I change the web address?" Obviously I am no longer "Courtney in Carolina", so a name change would only be logical. Because of my lack of creativity, I default to alliteration. But nothing seems to fit. "Teaching in Tennessee" is too corny and doesn't quite encompass what I'm doing. "Navigating Nashville" makes it sound like I am writing a travel guide for this city, when in reality I rarely experience anything outside of the occasional restaurant or concert venue. I suppose I could go back to "Lessons in Love", but some days I wonder, what have I even learned? I thought of that name when I thought of how God was going to teach me about loving my job and loving people around me, no matter how hard it would be, but I feel like I haven't done either of those things very well.

I guess the point is, then, that I still have so much to learn. About a healthy balance between loving your work, but not letting it overtake your life. About loving people well, even when they aren't within your immediate reach. About loving my kids, even when they make mistakes and drive me crazy. About loving my co-workers, even when we disagree. About loving my family from a distance and when we're together. And about loving my life, no matter what, because we "only get one shot, one opportunity", as Eminem so wisely said, and because I have been blessed in so many ways.