Living the dream...

It's funny how unaware I am of the culture that surrounds the school district right now. The past week, I've been attending session after session, soaking up all the information I can, grateful for the new deposits to my knowledge bank. The first-year teacher, taking whatever I can get by the way of advice, oblivious to what was really going on around me. I watched the veteran teachers greet each other with sincere joy, laugh at inside jokes during sessions, and share their experiences with the newbies. Sure, I could feel the annoyance after a long day of lectures, but I thought it was simply because anyone in their right mind doesn’t want to sit for this long with a school lunch and bruised fruit as their only compensation (well, a check is coming, but not until September). But that’s not where the resentment is coming from.

I realized for the first time yesterday that underneath the familiar chatter and laughter, the hooting and hollering and chorus of amens that fill the rooms, there is a deep-seated frustration with the state. Many of the teachers are angry. The state has invaded their schools, taken charge of the professional development program, and placed dozens of upper middle class, white men and women as the face of educational success in the sessions. To these teachers, the state is sending a clear message that they are not good enough; that because their schools are underperforming, that means the teachers are underperforming, and the state is here to rescue them. I’ve been in a session where a veteran teacher expressed these sentiments, and it was an uncomfortable truth to swallow. But in reality, many of these teachers are fantastic; they are just limited in resources. I feel silly for not having realized it earlier, but better late than never.

We finally have the internet in our house, and an eerie silence has fallen over the four of us tonight. It's nice to have an excuse to escape to my room. There have been very few moments in the past week that I have had my precious alone time. But that only makes the brief instances I have stolen all the more valuable. Yesterday morning I woke up 30 minutes early to eat a quiet breakfast on the patio, while watching the sunrise and reading First Corinthians. Last night I stayed up a little later to watch the killer thunderstorm raging outside my window. In these moments, I have asked myself over and over how I got to where I am. Living in North Carolina, my second favorite state (once because of the OBX, now because of my current life). Fulfilling a dream I thought was forfeited when I decided not to study education. Teaching a subject I am excited about to a group of kids who will push me to be better just as much as I’ll have to push them. And surrounded by a group of hard working teachers who also happen to be new friends.

I’ll be honest. One of the main reasons I chose to join TFA a few months ago is because I knew there would be a built in community. But I had no idea how quickly I would make friends and how much I would really enjoy spending time with them. We joke that all we talk about is TFA and school, but it has been so encouraging even just in the past few days to be living with and near so many other CMs. My roommates and I spend hours eating dinner and chatting on the patio, followed by a nightly “after dinner walk” around our neighborhood. We’ve kicked off Wine Wednesdays at another group of CM’s house down the street, laughed until we cried, and ate a delicious homemade dinner at the same house that night. Another CM who is currently unplaced and homeless came over last night to do his laundry while we ate fresh-baked cookies. This weekend we’re planning an outing to the lake and the local farmer’s market. There’s not much to do in RoRap, but there are plenty of great people to see, and we’re making it fun regardless. Below is a picture of all of the roommates. I really do feel like I'm living the dream right now, but things are about to get crazy.

The one thing I feel like I’m missing is a church community. I’m excited to try out at least one church this weekend. Hopefully I’ll find a place where there’s a good mix of ages. I have a feeling that most of the churches around here will be very traditional and geared towards an older crowd. We shall see…