Holiday Weekend

Another week down, another celebratory weekend in progress.

Friday was a good day at school. We had a parent come to our classroom at the end of the day to tell us how her daughter hated school before, but now she talks about it all the time at home and loves coming everyday. She said, “I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep doing it because Ja’Kyla has never loved school this much before.” It was a great thing to hear, but it puzzled me a bit, too. Ja’Kyla says she loves school, but I don’t see her participate or follow directions to her potential. She could be doing really well, but instead she zones out in class and makes careless mistakes on her quizzes. So she may be having fun, but whether she is really learning or not is up in the air. Either way, it was great to get to meet a parent and hear such positive feedback.

After school we had “Coleman/Manning Olympics” for the second Friday in a row. Coleman is the upper elementary (4^th&5^th grades) and Manning is the lower elementary (K-3^rd). We have some silly events like a pencil sharpening contest, the teacher stare contest, and a paper-grading race. Our school won this week! They also give out a few awards at the end, and I was surprised and appreciative to receive the “Excellence Award”. Sounds cheesy, but honestly, when you are surrounded by so many dedicated and hardworking people, it is truly an honor to be singled out.

Friday night a group of us went to a local pizza place, Lost Dog, to get pizza and beer (or a margarita in my case). It was also our school’s social, so my advisor and a bunch of my colleagues at C/M were there, too. Saturday, we spent the day laying out and swimming in some nice Mississippi folks’ front yard at a local lake. They were incredibly friendly and even took some of us out on their boat to go tubing (there were about 20 of us so I didn’t go).

After our day at the lake, a small group went to the intramural fields to play a game of pick up soccer, and I ran around the track that lines the soccer field. As I was running, I was literally thanking God that I am where I am, with the people I’m with, doing what I’m doing. I kept thinking how I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, and that there isn’t a day that goes by that I wish I was going to France. And then it hit me. I haven’t been very honest with myself these past few weeks, or with other people. I’ve told pretty much anyone who asks that there’s no way I would want to be in France right now, missing out on this experience; that I’m completely happy where I am. The truth is, I’m not 100% happy 100% of the time. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about what it would be like to have this summer off to spend with friends, and to be getting ready to leave for France in a few months. Of course I’ve thought about it, and of course there are moments when I wish that I were lounging around poolside, preparing for life in Poitiers and the adventures that would surely ensue.

But what I realized as I my feet pounded the pavement is that it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to admit to myself that life isn’t perfect, that TFA isn’t perfect, and that I won’t be happy at every moment of every day. There probably will be days that I’d rather be in France, living the easy life, working 12 hours a week and sipping wine with every meal. There probably will be many days that I feel like I’m making no progress. And there already are plenty of days that I miss speaking French. But when it comes down to it, I have no doubt in my mind that this is where God wants me to be, even in the moments or the days that I’m not sure it’s where I want to be. As I’ve said before, no one ever said this would be easy, but I’ve already seen how many ways it can be rewarding and I am so grateful I get to do something I love so much. And when I hear my kids say that they love school, and see their faces light up when they make goal on their daily quiz, and realize that what we're doing could change the trajectory of their lives, I realize that it is worth every night of sleeping 3 hours, every minute of typing furiously on my computer to finish before the print lab closes, and every second of the hour-long bus ride.

Today a few people went back to the lake and got to take a pontoon boat out, but a few girls and I just spent the day laying out outside our dorm and sipping on drinks from Sonic. We plan to go back to the lake next weekend, since our new friends invited us back and said they will have live music playing outside. We have been truly welcomed into the Mississippi Delta by lots of hospitable people. Tonight, we have a 4^th of July celebration on campus, where all the food and live entertainment is free, plus $1 beer and a fireworks show in TFA’s honor.

We have tomorrow off from school, so it’s exciting to think that this week will only be four days of teaching. It’s not the teaching that I am excited to have a break from, though; it’s the lesson planning and the logistics behind it all. I still love my time in the classroom and my kids. I am nervous, though, because we’re switching content this week and I’m now teaching reading. I had a really hard time writing reading lesson plans because the objectives are pretty difficult, especially when kids struggle with reading anyways.

I hope y’all are enjoying the heat and the holiday. Thanks for keeping up, and I can’t wait to be home soon.