Tough Transitions

When I logged on to my blog, I’m pretty certain I could hear the crickets are chirping. Loudly.

I’ve been so quiet because this summer and school year have taken a different turn than I expected, and quite honestly, I’ve had a hard time being positive about it all. I can’t imagine anyone still reads this anymore, but I felt the need to write it all down so I could come back to it down the road and remember what I learned from this experience.

Last November, I had a conversation with our school leadership team about taking over as the Math Instructional Coach for the 2014 - 2015 school year. I had immediate reservations - my passion is teaching children, not adults, and I had no experience doing anything else. I was overwhelmed at the idea of taking on the responsibility for now 4 grade levels of curriculum and data, when my experience in Tennessee has only been in the 6th grade. I felt inadequate and unprepared and uninvested in this new role.

The more I thought about it, though, the more reservations I had about not taking the role, if only for selfish reasons - if I didn’t do it, someone else would come in and take over the math department. Someone else would be telling me what to do, and potentially that someone else didn’t have the same vision for our kids and our curriculum that I had worked so hard to build. Eventually, I agreed to take the job and started my new role officially in the second week of June.

I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

It was a rough transition, starting with only one week off after an exhausting school year. The summer was filled with curriculum work that I didn’t know I had signed up for, including writing comprehensive assessments and foundational curricular documents for two grade levels, one of which I had no experience teaching. I was spinning my wheels for 12, 14, sometimes 18 hours a day, often feeling like I had no idea what I was doing with little faith in the quality of the work I was producing. There were nights I couldn’t sleep because I was so anxious, so I’d stop trying to fight it, bring my laptop in bed, and keep working until it was time to get up.

I felt unsuccessful, unsupported, and unfulfilled for those first few weeks in June and July, and it only got worse when we started planning for teachers’ arrival. I had no idea what it meant to “coach” teachers, especially around curriculum I wasn’t familiar with, and I had a crop of brand new teachers coming in who were going to need support in ways that were out of my comfort zone. I was still planning curriculum, but now I was also trying to plan and deliver professional development sessions, meet with teachers to help them design their first set of unit plans, lesson plans, and vision documents, and then provide feedback on their final products.

In the meantime, I was struggling to maintain a relationship with my best friend in Nashville, who became my boss with the new role (spoiler alert: this attempt was unsuccessful), and just generally take care of myself. I was unhappy both personally and professionally, and there was no end in sight.

When school started and kids arrived, I felt the ache of not being in the classroom immediately. As I watched my teachers do what I love, I was jealous and heartbroken. My primary responsibilities were observing and coaching teachers in their classrooms, meeting with them once a week to develop instructional practices, and continuing to develop network-wide assessments, none of which were fully satisfying to me. I was being developed in a way that didn’t feel particularly relevant or meaningful, and was often being treated in a way that was unsettling. I think it’s safe to say my parents were worried about me, and while I was certainly unhappy, I also knew that being unhappy with a solid job, a place I love, and a couple of really great friends in Nashville, TN is way better than the mental state I was in 3 years ago in North Carolina.

While this is not the most uplifting post in the world, it was my reality for the better part of the first semester. Like everything else, it was a huge learning experience, and I’ve come to appreciate the insight I’ve gained from struggling to figure out this new role. Potentially one of my favorite parts about this job is that it has allowed me to step back and really investigate what it takes to be a great teacher - my ultimate goal - and even practice some of those skills in isolation. I’ve seen my teachers develop some amazing habits and celebrated successes with them and their students (that’s another one of my favorite parts - I know all 400+ students in the building because I spend so much time in classrooms). I’ve built relationships with my teachers that have translated into mutual respect and genuine passion for our content and our kids. I’ve had time and space to learn how to develop curriculum that is way more aligned and rigorous than I’ve written in the past. And perhaps the most surprising benefit has been a healthier work-life balance - after surviving an incredibly brutal summer and first few months of school, I’ve figured out how to manage my time so that I rarely take work home and don’t have to arrive at school before the sun rises. In fact, one of my New Years resolutions is to get involved in hobbies outside of work, now that I have the capacity to do so.

There is so much to be grateful for, and although it was very hard to see in the moment, this transition and these challenges have made me a better teacher and a better version of myself. I am proud of the work I've done thus far, but I'm very much looking forward to the opportunity to continue to grow and eventually get back to what I love to do most - teaching kiddos. Fingers crossed that will be an option in the next year.

A Few of My Favorite Things: Spring 2014

Although school is out for the summer, work is actually pretty stressful right now because of a new role I'm taking on. More about that later. For now, I need to revel in the glory that was Spring 2014 outside of work.

In April, my aunt was in town for a conference, so my mom flew in to spend time with us both! We had dinner on Broadway, saw a show at the Grand Ole Opry (my first!), and they helped me redecorate my bedroom and do a few projects around my place. It was a short visit, but it gave me something to look forward to during the week. Does it surprise anyone that Deb travels with her staple gun?

At the end of April, I completed my second half marathon. Very intentionally, I only told a few people that I was training, so it was a bit of a surprise to even my family. The idea was born out of some serious reflection around New Years. As I was thinking about my "resolutions", I realized that I often make resolutions simply because it's tradition. With the best of intentions, I pick some overly vague or painfully specific goal that I know I'll never actually meet, and feel guilty when I ultimately don't follow through. This year, I knew what I wanted for myself was just a healthier lifestyle physically and emotionally: better work/life balance, healthier eating habits, fulfilling relationships, and to just feel healthier than I did in 2013. I don't actually know what possessed me to make a half marathon part of that goal because I didn't have the best experience my first time around, but I started training the first of January (so cliche, I know). In addition, I made cooking/eating healthier a priority and become more intentional about balancing my work obligations and my personal life.

What's crazy is that I actually enjoyed both training for and running the half marathon this time around - that's some serious growth from a few summers ago. And I know the reason - I was doing it for myself, and I wasn't accountable to anyone else. That's why I didn't tell anyone that I was running except for a few close friends in Nashville, who noticed I was going to the gym a lot more often. In fact, even those friends didn't know I was running for sure until the day before - I told them I was only running it if I felt like it the morning of the race. I wanted to run because I wanted to, not because people expected me to. Training for the race gave me a reason to leave work at a reasonable hour, to take time to enjoy the beautiful weather on the weekends, and gave me a sense of accomplishment and progress that was never evaluated by anyone else. It was my thing. One of my other friends was also training, and it was helpful to have someone else to motivate me, but at the end of the day I was committed to it for myself and only myself. Race day turned out to be a beautiful day weather-wise, and I even shaved 12 minutes off my last time. Two of my good friends from work came to the finish line to cheer us on, and I was proud to cross knowing how hard I had worked to get there.

A lot of fun things have happened in May. Cinco de Mayo was a bit of a let down, seeing as how all the Mexican restaurants had ridiculously long waits (we should have seen that coming), but the six of us had our own celebration at one of my friends' places instead. This picture is pretty typical of us:

A few of us also hit the Pedal Tavern one weekend to celebrate another friend's birthday. The Pedal Tavern is basically a bar on wheels, with a driver to steer you through downtown traffic as you and 10 of your friends pedal your hearts out to make the vehicle move approximately 4 miles per hour. If you think about it too much, you realize that you are actually paying to pedal your own way around town and drink your own beer, but it was a blast nonetheless. Following that adventure, I took my second shot at kareoke and enjoyed every second of it.

Memorial Day weekend, I went to Cincinnati to see a very dear friend from Teach for America get married. It was fun to catch up with some friends I haven't seen since we left North Carolina, and the wedding and the bride were absolutely beautiful.

This past weekend we celebrated kids being gone for the summer with two fun events: Brew at the Zoo and our end of year staff party. Brew at the Zoo is a craft beer festival at the Nashville Zoo, yet both years I have gone I haven't seen more than one or two animals. This year it rained on and off, but it is still one of my favorite Nashville events.

Shockingly, I have no pictures from the staff party, even though it's one of the few times all year we leave our teacher cardigans behind and actually get dressed up. Our leadership team put on a great party, renting out space from a local coffee shop, providing some great food, drinks, and even presents. A group of us went out on the town afterwards - it was the perfect way to celebrate another great year and two months with no kiddos :).

This Sunday, we had our last Sunday night dinner with the regular Happy Hour crew - one of our Original Six is moving back to Chicago to be closer to her family. It was the first time in a while that we had had a normal Sunday night dinner, and it was bittersweet. Tomorrow will be our last official day of work for this school year, so it will be a tough day of goodbyes.

This week at work has been mostly focused on reflecting on this past year and thinking about what lessons we've learned that we can apply to next school year. As I said earlier, I'm transitioning into a new role, which has made this week a little more stressful than normal. Look out for details about that new role as soon as I have a chance to breathe again.

Things to look forward to: my cousin visiting Nashville, going home for a baptism and to see some very important people, and summer time in general. Stay tuned!

Happy Wednesday!

It's The Nerdiest Time Of The Year

It's state testing week, which means things are getting really nerdy around here. Yesterday, our kids took the math test, so all of the math teachers wore our appropriate gear to encourage them.

I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned in my past four years of teaching, because 2010 Courtney would have let the pressure of the state test drown her in a fit of worry and fear. And while I was hoping to feel more confident about what I saw the kiddos do yesterday, I also know that worrying about it for the next three weeks will not change their scores. What's done is done, que sera sera.

Obviously there have been other things going on outside of state testing in the past three months, but that's about all the capacity I have to write at the moment. More to come, as soon as I recover from my TCAP hangover.

4 Life Lessons I've Learned From Work

As is natural, winter break and the New Year brought with them plenty of opportunities for reflection. As is also natural, the start of the school year has left me little time to get those thoughts out anywhere other than the Notes app of my iPhone, in a jumbled mess of random sentences. Last weekend, the beautiful weather and an attempt at work-life balance inspired me to wade through some of those thoughts and start to string them together into something that actually made sense. Because my job consumes the majority of my life, the recurring theme ended up being "lessons I've learned from work". What's neat is that although I started out thinking about how much I've grown in my career, I realized that many of these lessons have also transferred over to my personal life, in ways that make me feel a little more grown up. While I continue to grow into my "teacher self", I'm also learning quite a bit about being my normal self, too. And because my generation is obsessed with articles and blogs written as a list, I'm going for it. So here it is. My first attempt at a New Year’s post, and in true Ms H fashion, a month late.

4 Life Lessons I’ve Learned From Work (so far)

1. Being a problem-solver is much more efficient than being a complainer/stresser/crier.

Let me preface this by saying while I have made tremendous strides in managing stress and tears, I have recently become very aware of how much I complain, and it’s not pretty. Complaining is easier than say, actually fixing a problem. But as I developed my vision for my kids to become problem-solvers, I’ve been more and more motivated to become one myself. Have a lot of work to do, and a weekend full of fun plans ahead? Parcel out weekday planning time, wake up 30 minutes earlier to tackle one additional “to-do”, and keep reminding yourself of the reward that is to come in the end. Minutes spent worrying, panicking, complaining and crying are minutes that could be spent being finding a solution and being productive towards an end goal.

2. Knowing your strengths is equally as important as knowing your weaknesses.

I’d venture to say the average woman is more acutely aware of her weaknesses than her strengths, both professionally and personally. I’ve read blogs, magazine articles, and studies (I realize none of these sound legit, but run with me here) that claim that women are more naturally self-deprecating than men, and everything I’ve seen in reality has confirmed this. I am surrounded by the most amazing women both in Nashville and at home, yet we still seem to always find ways to harp on our faults. (Do men do this, too?)

Admitting to and developing our weaknesses seems like the most logical way to grow and improve. But recognizing and acknowledging my strengths has been one of the most powerful forms of development for me professionally, and has also made me incredibly happy. I’m a better teacher than I was three months ago precisely because I know what I’m good at, and I enjoy using that knowledge to continue to evolve as an educator. And tackling those areas of weakness seems much more manageable when I am aware of how to leverage my strengths in the process.

This one is a little harder to transfer to my personal life, but it is certainly present. I’m more aware of what I have to offer, and what I deserve in relationships, even if it has meant getting hurt in the process. It's cliche, but I am beginning to believe that it is all a part of self-discovery. Coming out on the other side of a frustrating or painful situation illuminates how strong you are.

3. What you do and say reflects what you value.

Regardless of what you want people to think you value, they make their own assumptions based on what you say and do. I learned this lesson from spending time “on stage” in front of children who often make subconscious decisions based on what they think is important to me. In class, I am quick to say that math “isn’t just about the right answer”. But in reflecting on my kids’ progress thus far this year, I was frustrated when I realized that many of my kids still have the mindset that the right answer is all that matters. It became clear to me that while my vision for kids to value reason and thought processes and clever strategies was plainly written in a document on my computer, it wasn’t alive in my classroom. Kids heard me validate their classmates for giving accurate answers or for earning a perfect score on a quiz or a test; in turn, they sought praise and success through finding the right answer. (Which, quite frankly, is against everything I believe about math education.)

Since this painful reality check, my focus has shifted to putting the spotlight on kids who are demonstrating the characteristics of true problem-solvers: kids who are thinking creatively, showing grit through a tough problem, taking a risk by disagreeing with a teammate, finding and fixing their own mistakes, and asking insightful questions. Now, I feel confident that while they still want to ultimately arrive at the right answer, my students also know that there is so much more to math. They know this not because I say "The answer isn't what's important!" on repeat, but because it lives subtly in what I narrate and model every day.

In my personal life, I want where I invest my time to reflect what I value. I want what I say and do to align to what I actually believe and care about. I want the way I treat others to be a true reflection of just how much I love and care about them, even when it's hard or exhausting. I want the same from the people who mean the most to me, and I don't want to settle for less.

4. Numbers don’t tell the whole story.

Most of our kids come to us significantly below grade level in reading and math, which translates to failing grades in all classes. I think specifically of one sweet baby who started the year at a second grade reading level, who had never memorized his multiplication facts, and who could not add or subtract in his head (thus he could not answer virtually a single question in a sixth grade math class). Not to mention had a general apathy toward school and homework.

Because of constant encouragement, his hard work, lots of voracious reading, and daily math tutoring, that same sweet baby is a master at mental math (outperforming some of his on-grade-level peers) and has grown over 2 years in reading. Unfortunately, his report card does not reflect this incredible progress, because the reality is, he is still unable to perform at a sixth grade level. But the amount of growth we have seen in this child since day one is incredible, even if the numbers don’t quite show it.

This same rationale has been one of the most liberating for me in terms of my personal life. Being healthy had previously meant being a certain weight, not surpassing a certain number of calories, and working out a certain number of minutes a day, goals that I never seemed to quite hit. Being beautiful meant being a certain size or height or having a certain number of relationships to speak of. And being successful meant earning a certain salary or having a certain number of years of experience. But ironically, in my four years since becoming a math teacher, those numbers seem irrelevant to me. Sure, I still have moments where they seem to define me, especially when I’m allowing myself to be compared to others. But for the most part, I’ve embraced who I am and what I have for what they are worth - which is a whole lot more than any number could ever mean. Because those numbers can't explain to you how happy I am, how healthy I feel, and how thankful I am for what I have.

So despite how hard it is...

...I have learned so much from my job in the past year and a half, and I'm thankful for the ways it is developing me as a teacher and as a person. Heck, maybe all of these sudden revelations have nothing to do with work. Maybe the credit is due to my now-fully-developed pre-frontal cortex, thanks to hitting the milestone age of 25, and my newfound ability to be reasonable, control impulses and make sound decisions. Regardless, they all have stemmed from some serious reflection this past month, some of it forced through mid-year evaluations at work, and some of it a natural process that comes with welcoming the New Year.

Winter Break

As always...long over due. And like last time, I'm exhausted and the easiest way to update is through pictures. So here goes...

Winter Break started with a road trip home. I split the 9 hour trip into two days, staying over night about halfway in Bristol. While I'm usually a fan of driving straight through without stopping (except to fill up for gas), I really enjoyed the luxury of staying in a hotel, as well as waking up and only having half the trip left.

The night I got home was also the 11th annual Christmas party with the girls. We continued the tradition with a sleepover, only this time there was an adorable baby to cuddle with when we woke up in the morning. Hard to believe it's been 11 years, 3 weddings (another coming up), 1 baby, 5 cities and 2 continents. I wouldn't have missed our party for the world.

After a few quiet days at home with my parents, the house filled up with my grandparents, Amanda, and her boyfriend. Christmas came and went fast this year, and as always, Mom outdid herself. See proof below.

We spent Christmas night at our neighbors' house in our pajamas, my favorite way to end the holiday. Before heading back to Nashville, the whole family swung down to North Carolina to spend time with more family, where one of my favorite pictures from the week was taken:

I loved being home for the holidays, and as always it was tough to leave. But knowing that I still had a week of vacation ahead of me in Nashville made it a little easier.

For the next week, my friends and I tried new restaurants, went to see a movie (American Hustle), stayed out late, watched various sports events (on TV and live!) and went shopping for our respective homes. I felt more relaxed than I could ever remember on a break, and I know it's because I had time to simply be in my own space and enjoy life in Nashville. I felt like a real person! I loved getting to do "normal" things like go to a coffee shop in the morning or the gym in the early afternoon (although I'd imagine that isn't actually normal for most people).

This was also the first New Years that I've ever actually been "out". AR, AB and I bought tickets to see the same 90's cover band we saw on Halloween, after exchanging Christmas gifts and feasting on delicious Thai food. I definitely had to drink some coffee before we went out to ensure that I wouldn't lose any steam before midnight, and it worked like a charm. We had a blast at the concert, and topped off the celebration with a sleepover and brunch at a cool Midtown restaurant the next day.

The rest of break was split between lesson planning, organizing and cleaning my condo, trying new recipes, and running errands, reading books, and enjoying the time off.

The icing on the cake was an extra work day for teachers when the "polar vortex" made its home in Nashville. Because of the "dangerously low" temperatures and our building's lack of a heating system, school was canceled for kids the Tuesday they were supposed to come back, so it was a short week and a great way to ease ourselves back into a routine. This also meant I was able to get all my work done before the weekend and enjoy one last stress-free weekend before it got real again.

This week has been a bit of an adjustment, and I'm incredibly exhausted, but I'm also happy. Coming up: a post about my New Year's resolutions, a work update, and eventually, a recap of a road trip to Atlanta (happening this weekend!). Stay tuned.

Back From Hiatus

It's been so long since I've posted that the web address for my blog didn't even autofill in the browser bar. Yikes.

As is always true when I sit down to blog, there is so much going through my head that I don't know where to begin. So I'll start with some photo recaps of the past few months.

In October, I decided to drive home with one of my good friends from home, Meaghan, to see the girls and baby Nora. Baby girl is the most adorable baby I have ever laid eyes on, and she is surrounded by so many people that adore her. Try to tell me you've seen a cuter baby. I won't believe you.

November flew by, thanks to a friend's wedding, a visit from mom and dad, Friendsgiving and a five-day weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving in Salem.

A friend from TFA got married near Cincinnati, OH, and I had a great time catching up with friends to celebrate her big day. The following weekend, mom and dad visited for the taping of the Country Music Christmas special, and we had a great time. It was a shorter trip than usual, but it helped make November feel full and exciting. We even found Deacon's house from the show Nashville - it's less than a mile from my place! Dad also finally tried a hot dog from the wiener truck, I Dream Of Weenie. I think it got his approval.

We definitely outdid ourselves with our second annual Friendsgiving celebration. I can't even remember what we did for food last year - it obviously wasn't good enough to be memorable. This year, though, we decided to bring our a-game, and everyone made at least one Thanksgiving dish for a potluck at my place. I am my mother's daughter - I couldn't miss an opportunity to set the table a little fancier than usual, complete with chargers, cloth napkins, and place cards. It almost felt like we were real adults (almost!). Instead of going around the table and saying what we were thankful for, we wrote things down (both funny and serious) on slips of paper, put them in a jar, and read them out loud as we ate. It was both hilarious and humbling. I have so much to be thankful for, including an amazing family of friends in Nashville.

Thanksgiving break brought with it 3 week days plus a whole weekend of vacation, and I headed to Salem Wednesday morning. It's the first time we've been to Salem as a family in years, and it was an absolute blast. It was great to see both sides of the family, although it never feels like quite enough time. One of the highlights of the weekend was hanging out with 3 of my cousins at a bar where my uncle was playing. Crazy that we are (almost) all old enough to be at a bar together - how time flies!

There's been plenty of Christmas cheer around here since Thanksgiving. I decorated my tree almost immediately upon returning to Nashville, and have been listening to Christmas music for weeks now. Although my condo doesn't even come close to being as festive as mom and dad's I've got a few decorations scattered around that will for now. Last week we watched the governor light the Christmas tree in front of the capitol building while Lee Brice sang "Silent Night" - gotta love Nashville.

This past weekend was full of festivities. Saturday morning Ashley and I participated in the Ugly Sweater Run. It was a 5K non-race with hot chocolate stations along the way and two beers waiting at the finish line. Although it was freezing cold and snowing the whole time, we had a blast people-watching and got a great workout in the process.

Saturday night was our staff holiday party, and Sunday evening a few of us went to the Matt Wertz Christmas concert, where Dave Barnes made a special appearance (and I almost fainted). Up next: Dave Barnes Christmas concert this weekend, followed by our friends Christmas party. And only 8 more days of school before a luxurious two weeks off to re-cooperate.

Work updates to come soon. I'm feeling pretty uninspired to write after an 11-hour work day.

Happy Monday!

A Teacher's Workday

This about sums up why I haven't posted in two months.

A Teacher's Workday

September Sundays

September is proving to be one heck of a month, in the best way possible.

Big moments always make me think back to where I was at the same time last year. So it’s natural that my 25th birthday brought back some tough memories of last year. I had been in Nashville for a little over 2 months, and while I loved the city and my new place, I was having a hard time adjusting to my new pace of life. My coworkers were great, but we were still in that awkward we-are-friends-because-we-have-no-other-choice phase. Confession: I woke up the morning of my birthday and cried my eyes out because I was alone, no one who really knows me there to celebrate. I spent that evening with two sweet friends – an old college roommate and a new co-worker – and I remember feeling a bit defeated that these were the only two people who cared enough about me to be there (in reality, it was a holiday weekend and everyone else had plans, like normal people. Drama queen.) Now, I realize how lucky I am to have an old friend nearby and a new friend who embraced me so quickly.

This year was quite the opposite. The happy hour crew generously proclaimed it my birthday weekend – dinner on Friday night at our favorite Thai restaurant plus drinks and cupcakes at a local taproom, a girls’ night out on Saturday, and a Sunday dinner and game night on my actual birthday, complete with appetizers, adult beverages, and a custom made “whooping stick”.

It was the kind of weekend that is so great that it makes the Sunday night blues (or Monday night blues on that particular holiday weekend) even more poignant. Although I’m in a much better place this year than I have ever been since my teaching career began, I felt much like I did on Sunday nights in Eastern North Carolina, with a sense of panic and fear gripping my mind and my heart. Only this time it wasn’t fear of children declaring mutiny or fists flying in class. It was a fear of losing this feeling of happiness buoyed by a lightness of heart and a freedom from responsibility.

I was able to stave off the blues last weekend, with the help of a visit from one of my best friends and "the girls", Jenna. An impromptu trip to Nashville (via plane, plane, cab, and bus - she's a champ!) made me one happy girl, because there's just nothing like friends from home. One of our favorite artists, Matt Wertz, was playing at a Nashville staple, the Exit/In, and Jenna joined me and two of my Nashville friends for an incredible show.

Jen stayed til Wednesday morning, which made my week so much easier to bear - knowing I'd have company two nights after work, and knowing I'd only have to bear a few days until the weekend when the sad day came for her to leave. It was a busy week at work, and the bar had been set high for weekends this month.

And don’t you know – this beautiful September weekend brought me that same peace, that same soul-refreshing happiness of the past two weekends, only without the dread that accompanied it two weeks ago.

Remember that lovely new friend who so kindly joined me for my birthday celebration last year, when I was still feeling vulnerable and lonely? She is now one of my closest friends in Nashville, and Friday night we celebrated the purchase of her brand new townhome in the suburbs with pizza, ice cream, wine, and cable TV (a luxury for me these days). And while Saturday required several hours of work, it was quite possibly one of the most beautiful days since I’ve been in Nashville, and I couldn’t help but take advantage of the weather. I broke up lessons plans with a visit to the farmer’s market, where Annie and I rented b-cycles and took an adventurous and hilarious ride to the downtown library.

Don’t be fooled by the tranquility of this picture. It was one heck of a bike ride, including uphill battles, roads under construction, and left turns on downtown streets. (Don’t worry dad, there were no cars on the road and we used hand signals.)

Before this weekend, I didn’t think I was ready for fall. Saturday’s clear blue sky and crisp air started to chip away at my summer reserve. An evening on the gorgeous patio of an East Nashville wine bar, with a nip in the air that required a fall wardrobe, got me that much closer. Three things this Sunday pushed me over the edge, into full bring-it-on-fall mode: my Creamy Pumpkin candle filling my condo with the scent of Thanksgiving, a chilly sunset on the roof, and dark red nail polish.

It’s the little things in life.

I can’t explain why I’m immune to the Sunday night blues this week. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that there’s a lot to look forward to in the next few days – jeans day, Taylor Swift in concert, the Color Run, and a surprise schedule change that lightens my coverage load during my planning periods. Maybe it’s knowing that the end of this weekend is also bringing the beginning of a new season, and endless possibilities for fall activities. Or maybe it’s as superficial as the flickering Creamy Pumpkin candle in the background while I reminisce about my perfect weekend and look forward to picking up my new book when I get in bed tonight. Whatever it is, it is a welcome feeling.

Happy fall, y’all!

The First Month

A month to the day since I've last posted.

Grampy, I'm sorry. Forgive me. (You're probably the only one who's noticed.)

I'm sure it's obvious, but it's been crazy busy here since day 1, and I'm still not quite caught up on life yet. But I'll do my best to summarize what's been happening since I last wrote.

This year has brought some changes that have been both exciting and exhausting. I've moved into the role of "Lead Teacher", which sounds fancier than it actually is. It basically means that I'm doing much of the same thing I did last year, only this time I'm helping to develop another teacher in the process. My current teacher partner is a second year teacher who taught social studies last year. Needless to say, we have some work to do. While we are technically a team, there's a lot more responsibility on my end, and I spend a lot of time observing him in his classroom and live coaching.

The biggest change from last year was our decision to split kids instead of curriculum. Last year, my partner teacher (who moved up to 7th grade this year) taught half of the curriculum (focused more on algebra) and I taught the other half (focused more on geometry and ratios). We both taught all 100 kids, four different periods a day. This year, we've decided the best route is to split the kids instead of the curriculum, since every topic in math relates to each other in some way. This means that I only teach about 60 kids, but I teach almost twice the amount of lessons. Last year, I was planning 4 lessons a week - now, I'm up to 7. I have absolutely loved being able to focus on my 60 kids and get to know them really well, but the planning cycle is exhausting. My schedule is pretty crazy, too. To compensate for the increase in workload, we've been given more planning periods, but it also means every day looks different for me. It's been tough trying to keep up with when I teach, when I'm off, and when I have hall coverage periods, but it is definitely nice to know that I have more time to get work done a few days a week.

Our school leaders have also decided to do away with the typical "social studies" class and instead replace it with Global Literacy. While it's an exciting new addition to our curriculum, it also means we have to fit in "test prep" social studies skills somewhere, and that somewhere is every morning during our advisory/homeroom period. Which means on top of teaching math, leading a book club, and keeping up with the demands of our crazy schedule, I'm also a part time social studies teacher :). It's been an adjustment for sure, and while it's not ideal, I trust that our administrators made a decision based on what was best for our kids. I do often ask myself, though, at what point will it be enough?

There's so much more I could say, but like always, I've waited to long to say it, so I don't even know where to begin. I'll try to be better...but no promises.

My Summer In Photos

Our first official week, "Week Zero", is over. Kids and teachers alike survived Liberty's version of "boot camp", and I know I'm excited to get back to real school next week, with math lessons and book club and time to get to know my new babies. But I'm also very grateful for a weekend, even if it will involve quite a bit of work (still a lot to prepare for our first set of math lessons). And by the look on the kids' tired faces as they lined up for the buses yesterday, they need it, too.

My energy is drained, so instead of trying to recap the past week or my entire summer, I'll just add some of my favorite pictures. Enjoy!

Possibly the most spontaneous thing I've ever done in my life happened this summer: I booked a ticket just hours before boarding a plane! I decided to surprise my parents and crash their Chicago trip to see my sister for the 4th of July. I also got to see my cousin, who recently moved to the city to begin her residency, and old roommate/good friend from Teach for America. It was a great weekend, and I enjoyed spending extra time with family and friends that I don't see very often.

I've mentioned "the girls" many, many times, and this summer we experienced two life-changing events within a week of each other. We celebrated the birth of our first "girls baby" when Brittany and her husband welcomed sweet baby girl Nora into the world on June 26. On July 3, Jenna's beautiful mother, Jill, passed away after fighting pancreatic cancer for over five years. I could never even begin to capture the spirit of Momma Ward in words, but she is one of the most optimistic, generous, unassuming and strongest women I have ever met. A few weekends later, all nine girls were reunited for a bittersweet celebration of two very important lives - it was the first time many of us got to meet baby Nora, just hours before attending Momma Ward's memorial service. Many tears were shed that weekend, and I often had a hard time distinguishing between the happy and the sad ones. My heart aches to find the write words to explain the significance of that weekend, but my mind still can't quite fathom it. Instead, one of my favorite pictures from my short time home (the new momma is top right):

The new school year technically began on July 8, with four weeks of professional development, curriculum writing, and transitioning into the new building. As much as I would have loved a few more weeks of summer, it was great to have my friends back - since my network of friends still hasn't expanded outside of work. We added almost 15 new staff members this year as we expanded to include seventh grade, and I love every single one of them. A quick picture from a happy hour outing a few weekends ago, with new and old friends:

And a picture of the "new" old building that is our new home:

This summer I also experimented with my old sewing machine, making a few random projects, all of which are less than perfect. But there's something to be said for the feeling of creating, of holding something up knowing that you put it together from scratch, that you made something useful from a few yards of fabric. Probably my most successful project was an apron, and it still looks pretty good even though my impatience led me to scrap the pattern and start sewing pieces together where it "looked right". Don't look too closely - rough edges and imperfections are everywhere - but it's practical!

The rest of my summer was spent enjoying Nashville, with outdoor concerts and movies, new restaurants, and good friends. I am in love with this city, and even though my summer is officially over, the season and its festivities continue to live on, and I'll continue to enjoy it all as long as possible. Next up on the agenda: 3 of my favorite musical artists in concert, a 5K Color Run, and the famous East Nashville Tomato Festival (today!).

Next week we are in full swing, and my color-coded schedule says it all:

CRAZINESS. And that's only Monday (and doesn't include our 7am start time)...

Something only your parents care about...

The school year starts Tuesday. TUESDAY. There are many things I am doing to prepare myself, not just for the work itself, but also for the impending crazy schedule that will overtake my life: scheduling a last minute haircut, deep cleaning my condo, stocking up on groceries, and doing every last bit of laundry I can.

Another thing we've been instructed to do before school starts back up is to Google ourselves to make sure nothing pops up that we wouldn't want students to see. So far, the only thing I've found that I wish students couldn't see is my graduation year from college. I like telling them I'm in my forties, and hearing things like, "That's older than my momma!" That's right, I could basically be your momma, so sit yo' tail down and get back to work. (Okay, so maybe that's more applicable to my two years at Enfield, but it still comes out sometimes.)

I did happen to stumble upon a link to a short article that I knew my parents/grandparents would want to see, so here it is, for you all. I didn't know this, but apparently the Tennessee Charter School Association posted Facebook and Twitter updates when they announced the finalists for teacher of the year, and I got my very own posts, with a link to a bio that is a hybrid of their words and mine.

More of my words to come. I'm struggling to synthesize the past 2 months concisely, but I'll do my best.

Happy Sunday!

The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They Can Do

I know I've been quiet lately, and I promise I'll update soon. But in the meantime, an article I came across that I found quite interesting, called "The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They can Do." Sometimes, this is exactly what it feels like.

Summer Visitors

My first (and most likely only) summer visitors were none other than...Mom & Dad!

We had a full 4 days, most of which revolved around food and drinks, but really, would you have it any other way? Especially in Nashville, where there is so much to choose from.

On their first day, we spent some time walking around Centennial Park, with stops in front of the famous Parthenon replica and pretty little garden we found. Now if this isn't Christmas card-worthy, I don't know what is:

I wish I could remember the exact order of everything we did, but my memory fails me (in fact, as we were sitting around a meal our last day together, we had a hard time recalling everything we had done - I think that's a good sign!).

I will say this: we were very productive, and very full the entire week. Mom was in the zone, helping me organize, reorganize, and maximize storage space in my small condo. Dad was a true champ, patiently indulging his indecisive girls in multiple trips to Target and the Container Store, and then building two new pieces of furniture for my hallway. I had a few firsts: first time using a power drill, and first time hemming my own clothing (with help from mom). We rewarded ourselves for our hard work with delicious food at some new restaurants and some of Dad's Nashville favorites. Probably one of my favorite "food moments" that week was taking them to Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream in East Nashville. Not only is the ice cream truly unique and delicious (riesling poached pear, whiskey and pecan, brambleberry crisp, and roasted strawberry buttermilk are just a few of the flavors), but they are also always incredibly friendly and patient, encouraging you to sample as many flavors as you want. Knowing my father well enough, we got there a mere hour after it opened to ensure that we would beat the crowd, allowing dad ample time to indulge in the free samples. Sure enough, there was no one else there and we each had our fair share of sample spoons before deciding on our two flavors.

Ice cream heaven:

Other highlights include: seeing Vince Gill at breakfast one morning; enjoying the patio and delicious brisket nachos at Edley's, one of my favorites and one of dad's new favorites; the Bluebird Cafe, where we ran in to family friends from Glen Allen (small world!); and hitting up a karaoke bar on Broadway, where mom talked a big game about getting on stage, until she realized that people who karaoke in Nashville are legitimately amazing singers. Next time, Mom.

As always, a visit from my parents reminds me just how lucky I am to have two incredible people who have loved me unconditionally, supported me in some life-changing decisions, and continue to take care of me even as I've transitioned into adulthood. Mom & Dad, I am grateful for your generosity, your patience, and your unconditional love.

I'm ready for my next round of visitors...who's in?

Response to the Common Core

There is a lot of controversy in the education world right now, especially in Tennessee. Most of that controversy surrounds the new Common Core framework. Ever heard of it? Quick primer: Each state currently has its own set of standards that it uses to measure student understanding at each grade level, for each subject. This inevitably means the expectations are different for the same grade level in different states. For example, in North Carolina, seventh grade math students are introduced to interior and exterior angles in polygons for the first time. In Tennessee, those specific standards are taught in the sixth grade. The Common Core is a U.S. education initiative whose goal is to align all states to the same set of standards. States can choose whether or not to adopt the Common Core State Standards initiative - at this point, Alaska, Nebraska, Texas, Virginia, and Minnesota have either chosen not to adopt or to adopt only the English standards. But not everyone is happy about the new standards.

I think a lot of the discontent stems from a bit of a misunderstanding. Many people think that adopting Common Core means everyone has to teach exactly the same thing, exactly the same way. For example, Reading teachers must all teach a certain list of books in the sixth grade. In fact, the initiative is meant to just streamline what standards we teach the kids in which grade levels, and the rest is up to the teachers. Thus, reading teachers need to teach their students how to make inferences and summarize the main idea, but whether it's through Number the Stars or Holes or Wonder (my personal favorite) is up to the individual teacher.

That is a very, very basic overview, and I'm sure someone more in-the-know could make some arguments against the Common Core that I haven't thought of. But so far, what I've seen in the Common Core documents correlates very well to what I want my students to be able to do in math class.

One of my good friends from work recently switched jobs to work for the Department of Education as the Director of Communications, or some fancy job title like that. Regardless, her job requires her to keep her finger on the pulse of what people are saying about education in Tennessee, so I'm sure it has been an interesting month to say the least. She forwarded me this article about one person's concern about the new Common Core math standards, and asked me to respond. I think she was probably looking for a two-sentence summary of my thoughts, but in true Ms. H fashion, I wrote a novella. If you are interested in my response, keep reading. If not...see you next time!

Response to the Common Core

1) With any change inevitably comes skepticism, so I definitely understand where Mr. Garelick is coming from. In fact, many teachers are probably equally as skeptical, if not because of the content, then because the constant shifting of curriculum and standards often makes it feel like we are chasing a moving target.

2) I don’t think the Common Core is suggesting that we completely throw out the algorithms and procedural math that students need to be computationally successful. Those can be useful tools in solving many math problems, and work extremely well for many students. However, I think the intention is to shift the focus from a step-based mathematics to a thinking-based mathematics, with which I am in total agreement. If students don’t understand why the algorithm works, it merely becomes a series of steps that students must remember and follow correctly in order to be successful. Teaching the “how” of the algorithm without teaching the “why” will never require students to understand so much as it will to remember. Many of my students are immediately successful when given an algorithm or series of steps to follow to solve a particular type of problem. That “understanding” manifests itself as mechanization later, though, when they are asked to solve a problem out of context and can no longer remember the rules I’ve taught them. Student understanding is strongest when children draw on their previous knowledge, create their own connections to new material, and integrate new knowledge into their own networks of understanding. Developing this context with students, instead of just handing them a predetermined rule, creates flexible thinkers who know when and why to use a particular algorithm or rule.

3) As I read the two reactions cited in the article, I was reminded of the two-dimensional view that I once had of mathematics, that I think a lot of children, parents, and maybe even teachers still have. Many of our children “like” math because they are naturally gifted at computation, and therefore find it easy to be “successful”, as far as grades are concerned. Most children that I have taught that claimed to hate math were coincidentally those that were below grade level and had a history of struggling and frustration in the subject. Possibly one of the most important lessons that I have learned in my measly three years of teaching is that math is not just about numbers; it’s about patterns, relationships, and creativity. It’s about investigation, discovery, and extension. It’s about thinking, reasoning, and sense-making. As soon as I shifted the focus from numbers and calculation to reason, investigation and creative solutions, even my most struggling students have found ways to be successful, ways that makes sense to them and finally make math accessible and even engaging. Math is an exciting subject, and I think the emphasis that the Common Core places in its Mathematical Practices indirectly, if inadvertently, reminds us of the potential that lies within the curriculum.

4) I think one of the most important implications for our children is striking a balance between communicating and mastery. Let’s face it – children theoretically have access to calculators 24/7, thanks to modern technology. They could Google the formula for the surface area of a rectangular prism if they really needed it (which they probably won’t). Yes, I understand that they can’t do that on “the test”, but my concern for my children goes far beyond the world of standardized tests. I’m thinking ahead to the day they have a real job, a career even. Most of the math that they learn in school won’t even be relevant to the majority of their jobs. There will be spreadsheets and computer programs that do the heavy lifting for them. Their job will be to analyze, explain, question, defend, articulate – no matter what their trade or their job, they will have to be able to communicate. That being said, I absolutely agree that children should still be practicing math, and should still be able to compute. But computation without communication will do very little in our competitive world. The teachers’ feat will be to find that balance between teaching computational skills and teaching thinking skills. I don’t, however, believe Common Core is suggesting that computation skills are unnecessary or less important; I think the goal is to challenge teachers and students to go beyond pure calculations and procedures to develop a more holistic child.

Country Living

Yesterday, I took a trip out to my fried Ashley's family farm. Her great-grandparents purchased it over a hundred years ago, and her grandparents still live and work on it now. Some Sundays, they gather for a family meal, some good ol' fashioned porch-sittin', and Gator rides around the property. I was lucky enough to experience all of the above...and I even drove the Gator for a bit!

What a sweet family, and a great combination of relaxation and country fun. My favorite part may have been wearing the rubber galoshes while we traversed through hundreds of acres of open land in what I called "the farmers convertible". I felt pretty legit exchanging my silver sandals for the more practical boots. Other highlights include climbing a rocky hill in the little John Deere Gator and jumping on bales of hay the way you'd jump on the bed.

Needless to say, I was exhausted when I got home. And I didn't even do any work! I can't even begin to imagine how people make a living out of working on a farm - power to the people.

Happy Monday!